I raised my kids in Denmark. When we returned to the US, they were far more independent than their American peers. [Video]

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Becca Itkowitz, 48, from Illinois. She was featured in “The Danish Secret to Happy Kids,” a new book that champions Nordic parenting. Her interview with Business Insider has been edited for length and clarity.

A few months after my family moved back to our native US from Denmark, I received a phone call from the principal of my son Max’s school.

He had made a snowball during recess and was in trouble even though he hadn’t thrown it at anybody. “It’s not allowed because anything you pick up could become a weapon,” the principal said.

They paused, waiting for my reaction. I started laughing because I thought it was a joke. Then I realized it wasn’t. “I’ll have a word with Max when he gets home,” I said.

When we talked to him, it seemed as absurd to my then-10-year-old boy as it did to …